Tag: Philosophy

Insecurities: How to Find and Heal them

July 18th, 2023

Steps to identify your insecurities, deal with and get rid of them

“One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit.”
J. A. Konrath

Insecurities; everyone has one… or many. There is not one human being on this planet who is not insecure about some aspect of themselves. This can be a physical insecurity or an insecurity of some character trait. Insecurities are so deeply rooted in our subconscious that makes it hard for us to find their root – the moment they were created. Usually it is a situation in which we felt a sense of shame or abandonment. Going back in time and finding the precise situation and everything that was involved with it – people, colours, scents – is tough. Nevertheless, it is not impossible. There are many things that can trigger an insecurity. Oftentimes, we feel a certain emotional discomfort and we do not even know why. Those are the certain stimulations/stimulants that were present when the insecurity emerged. Our subconscious “remembers” everything that was present in the moment of discomfort and even when we do not find ourselves in one of those moments in the present time, our subconscious still senses those stimulants and awakens the feelings we felt in the past. This proves the deepness of our insecurities’ roots.

Identifying your insecurities

The first step of the road is identifying your insecurities. You cannot heal something that you do not know exists. What makes you feel uncomfortable? What are personal characteristics and traits that you think others will ridicule or make fun of? Many times, insecurities do not bother us when we are alone or with people that we hold dear. Discomfort and its expressions become visible in the presence of strangers or a bigger group of people. Knowing that, we can use those situations as tests to figure out what really makes us uncomfortable.

Honesty and Transparency unveil your Insecurities

Honesty and transparency are fundamental in your journey of discovering and healing your insecurities. Are you honest with yourself? Are you sure about that?

Being honest with yourself can be hard. Many times, we hide behind fake pride and a sense of superiority to hide our true feelings and thoughts about ourselves. “Look at those guys doing this or that. Who do they think they are?” Thoughts like those have entered my mind plenty of times. Seeing people do things that I would not be able to do due to my shyness. This is one way one way to identify an insecurity. Whenever you are reacting negatively towards people being themselves and enjoying the moment, it could just be you being frustrated that you are not capable to live happily in the present moment like they do. Why criticise someone else when you are content and happy in your specific situation?

People and Experiences

Additionally, another way to identify an insecurity is by observing your behaviour in the presence of certain people. Behaving a certain way led to a specific reaction from people close to you. A negative reaction to your self-expression created a subconscious insecurity or blockade. Eventually, you took the suppression of this sort of self-expression to other spaces and places of your everyday life. The mental barricade expanded. “If they shame me for this form of self-expression here, then they will probably shame me for that same form of self-expression there.”

Therefore, you can connect a certain insecurity to a specific person that made you feel ashamed at a young age, when your subconscious was still in development. Observe yourself. How do you behave in the presence of certain people? Are you behaving differently when they are around as opposed to their absence? Why? Is there an experience of the past in the presence of that person that made you feel negatively? Connect the dots – experiences, feelings, people. This information is of importance in the next next steps.

Heal your insecurities

The next step is tricky. It takes courage and purposeful decision making. Now that you have identified your insecurities, you need to put yourself out there and face them. What really bothers us when it comes to our insecurities are their consequences. People can see that we do not feel comfortable in a situation because of how the insecurity is expressing itself: excessive sweating, stutters, shaking hands or eyebrows. We do not want people to see those outbursts of anxiety, nervousness and discomfort, therefore we try to avoid situations that will bring forth those reactions. For that reason, for many years I avoided holding presentations or raise my hand in school. Those reactions still occur because they are deeply rooted in my nervous system. Nevertheless, in order to change that, I have to put myself in a position that will produce those reactions as often as possible.

Get Comfortable in Discomfort

Discomfort is something we have to get comfortable living in. When you realise and implement that, it will create the most beautiful and rewarding feeling. Put yourself in situations of discomfort as often as possible. Yes, people will see the sweating, the stuttering, and the awkwardness. Yes, some people will judge you. Nevertheless, you need to learn to live with those things if you want to improve your life and create something great. For the most part, the most uncomfortable situations are the ones that help us grow the most. By avoiding them, we are hindering our own evolution, our own progress. Embrace your reactions to discomfort, embrace your awkwardness, become one with it. Be brave and stand your ground.

Be Brave and Just Do It; No Matter the Outcome

In the past, I delayed events because of my social anxiety. Dates, presentations, job interviews and so on. The reason for that was my fear of the outcome. “What if the presentation went badly? I would embarrass myself in front of everyone. The girl will probably not even like me and find me weird or even creepy. I do not have the credentials for this job, the interview is just a waist of time.” My insecurities were controlling my thoughts and actions.

By thinking like that I could not see one very important thing: my potential. It took many years for me to believe in my potential and put myself out there for people to see. I had to create the right mindset and the first step was to just be brave and do what need to be done, no matter the outcome. The outcome is not important. At the end of the day, we will do everything in our power for a good result. What is not acceptable is no result at all. A bad outcome is unquestionably more beneficial than avoiding the event entirely. What will you learn by avoiding the event? Nothing.

Conclusion

Ultimately, if you want progress and success in life, you need to identify and heal your insecurities. Therefore, identifying is the easier part. What will be tough is putting yourself out there for people to see your naked soul. You need to change your mindset. Say to yourself, “I will just do it, no matter the outcome. I will be brave enough to face my insecurities and their expressions.” Sooner or later you will be put into an uncomfortable position. Therefore, it is more valuable to put yourself there first so you have the power to control it and grow.

anastasioskalaitzis

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Extremism Creates Extremism

June 2nd, 2023

How Extremism creates Extremism in the Example of Andrew Tate

Andrew Tate is an important figure in the contemporary cultural sphere. He is the reason for many debates on sexuality, gender, masculinity, and femininity. Some depict his views as extreme. It seems like his opinions do not fit into the modern western Zeitgeist. Many secretly agree with him, though, so that claim is not so certain. Every action has a reaction; every action creates a reaction of a similar amount of force. If Andrew Tate and what he says is extreme, something equally as extreme created him. So who or what propelled Andrew Tate and his movement into the cultural and societal discourse?

contemporary dominant societal movements

In modern times certain societal movements dominate the cultural and societal discourse. LGBT, Feminism, BLM stand in the forefront, claiming to fight systems that marginalised and suppressed certain groups. Eurocentricity, toxic masculinity, the patriarchy are just some of the concepts those groups try to fight and “crush”, as they like to say.

The Legitimacy of those Groups

Just like Andrew Tate, necessity created those nowadays extreme movements. They legitimately fought for their rights in society. Women fought for their rights to work, to vote and to marry whoever they want. Homosexual people fought for their rights to have homosexual relationships and to marry and adopt children. African Americans and all non-majority people around the world are fighting discrimination by police forces and in the workplace. The problems those and many more groups face are extreme and numerous. This blog post cannot fully cover them. Their actions, though, were legitimate and the support they have gotten is understandable.

Their Move to Extremism

Nevertheless, those groups developed theories that are far from the norm. Especially Feminism and the LGBT movement have turned into something that I call “industry of social engineering”. Left leaning ideologues created the majority of todays sociological gender and sex theories. Many of them are actively part of the feminist or LGBT movement. Those ideologues who are not part of those movements still walk around the same ideological sphere, the left wing sphere. In conclusion, those ideologues come from the same ideological source and they would call each other allies in their fight to change society to their visions.

Examples of Extremism

Those movements want to create a world in which a woman can become a man, a man can become a woman, men and women are the same and are biologically capable of doing everything with the same precision and outcome. Additionally, those movements want males with a feminine gender expression (falsely called transgender women) to compete in female sports, even though they are dominating women and breaking one record after the other. Those movements want to “crush the patriarchy”, give children lessons on queerness, transgenderism and homosexuality, with the motto, “you can be who you want to be”. They also want to teach young boys how to be men, because their fathers are not capable of doing that anymore. Furthermore, they want to sexualise children and give them permission to mutilate their bodies as young as possible if they have gender dysphoria.

Another example is the suggestion to not use the term “mother” or “pregnant woman” anymore. The reason, as they claim, is that men can also get pregnant and birth a baby. Terms like “birthing people” or “pregnant people” should be used instead. (I will not state a personal comment on that because it might get too insulting.)

Furthermore, some statements that people of those movements utter, encourage people like Andrew Tate to speak up. Some of those statements are, “the future is female”, “the future is feminist”, “the future is queer”, “smash the patriarchy”, and “we do not need men anymore, with the help of science we can give birth without men”. It does not sound like equality, it sounds more like a revolution to gain power and influence.

Fear of Being Cancelled

Rejection of those theories unveils the true extreme emotional nature of those movements. The rejection is immediately dismissed and leads to the cancelation of this person’s relevance. Of course people, especially in the liberal west, are afraid to speak their minds because they are facing aggressive backlash. This is also shown in universities where the majority of professors belong to the same left wing ideological sphere. They spread the word as apostles of those ideologies. Professors who might not agree with the theories, are afraid to speak up because they would lose their jobs. It almost seems like you cannot become a professor in the humanities or sociology anymore, if you do not fall for the propaganda and become an ally to their extremism.

the birth of andrew tate

Those extreme theories and statements birthed a man named Andrew Tate. Of course, he is not the first and only person to oppose the feminist and LGBT ideologies, but he is the best known in our time. Many label Tate’s views as outdated, misogynistic, and patriarchal. But are they really? Is everything that goes against the feminist and LGBT textbook outdated, misogynistic, and patriarchal? I do not think so, but that is a question that I will try to answer in a later blog post.

People who are shocked by Andrew Tate’s statements need to understand that he is just a reaction to the crazy sociological theories that those movements create. But because they come from the same ideological sphere, they do not say anything against those crazy theories. They know how this small minority will react and they are afraid of being cancelled and criticised as homophobic, transphobic, or sexist themselves. Nevertheless, if they do not want an extreme reaction from the opposite side of the political and ideological spectrum, they need to figure out a way to put the extreme voices in their own movements in their place.

Feelings over Facts

We are living in a time when feelings are more important than facts and evidence. Left wing ideologues regard rational and evidence based scientific procedures and common sense as concepts of a heterogeneous patriarchal system of white supremacy. Western universities push this assumption and teach it in the humanities and sociology. This leads to the de-rationalisation of thinking. Furthermore, this has led to the degeneration of culture, society and the arts. Is it a surprise then, that more and more Andrew Tates appear in the cultural discourse to fight this storm of degeneration taking place and being promoted in the west?

The liberal left is hypocritical. They never criticise their own statements of being too extreme. Representatives of the feminist movement never criticise the misandry present in their ranks. Representatives of the LGBT movement never criticise the irrational gender and sex theories created by their ideologues. Whenever somebody says something they do not like, though, they immediately defame them. They claim that this person is responsible for authorising and instigating violence against marginalised groups. Representatives of those extreme left wing movements claim moral authority in everything related to sociological theories of sex and gender. This is a big mistake and will lead to more extreme and widespread reactions than that of Andrew Tate and his supporters.

Increase of Extremism

Unfortunately, the future of this cultural war does not look good. The foreseeable rise of extremism will not stop, if the liberal irrational agenda keeps promoting those groups as prophets of a New World Order. A New World Order that is supposedly more peaceful and less autocratic. It is not. It only creates more chaos and at the end of the day, more violence. The majority of people do not agree with the left wing agenda and their sociological theories. Nevertheless, they are still pushed by the liberal intellectual regime. It seems to be very fashionable and profitable. Divide and conquer.

conclusion

Extremism creates extremism. This is the only conclusion that we can all agree on. The extremism of one political and ideological sphere will create extremism on the opposing political and ideological sphere. Reading through the comments on the social medias, there is expanding support on the side of Andrew Tate. The general public sees the irrationality in the claims of extreme groups like modern feminism and the LGBT movement. As long as those movements claim moral authority over everyone else, extremism will rise and end violently. Critical and rational thinking can help avoid the rise of extremism. Feelings should not be more important than facts. Finding the right solution to all problems without trying to change the societal structures that are based on objective reality and truth. The use of empirical evidence and rationality will recapture the trust of the general public.

Left wing ideological bias dominates universities and scientific institutions. This needs to change. The promotion of productive discussion without the fear of peer pressure or mob violence is a big step forward. Professors need to work as role models, but nowadays they unfortunately work as instigators of peer pressure and mob violence.

The emerging popularity of Andrew Tate and his ideas and statements is just a sign of everything that went wrong in the cultural and societal development of the last ten years. Every extreme movement will naturally be corrected by an extreme countermovement.

anastasioskalaitzis

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Most Inspirational Human in my Life

May 19th, 2023

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

This is my 12th grade German language teacher. Writing has been a passion of mine for over a decade now. When we wrote essays in school, my grades were average at best… until this teacher appeared.

His teaching method and philosophy was new to me. He did not enter the classroom with any script or guideline that most teachers follow to teach students the obligatory material. Sitting in his classroom was more like sitting under a tree in Ancient Greece, with a group of peers, listening Socrates speak. I still admire the intelligence and honesty in this man’s eyes… my teacher’s eyes of course, not Socrates’.

It seems like it was this honesty, realness, and rawness that he radiated, that made me trust him. This trust started being visible in the essays I wrote under his guidance. My grades skyrocketed and I developed a different style of and consciousness in writing.

His stoic attitude will always follow and inspire me in many other aspects outside of writing. His sophisticated way of talking, showed me the importance of gathering knowledge, questioning your knowledge, and then updating your knowledge. Your mind should never live in a static state. It should be moving, flowing, changing… it should be flexible and curious.

That is the power of a great teacher.
Leader or Follower? It depends!

May 18th, 2023

Are you a leader or a follower?

It depends. I can be both, a leader and a follower, and the truth is that nobody is only one or the other all the time. If you are honest to and about yourself you will know your strengths and weaknesses. You will act as a leader when your strengths are needed. Additionally, you will act as a follower when someone else’s strengths are best fitting for the specific situation.

Trying to be a leader in a situation that is new to you, or without having the necessary experience in a specific field, is irresponsible. You are not only taking your own but the fate of others into your own inexperienced hands.

Whenever you are uncertain if a situation is appropriate for you to step up as a leader, take a step back. You can watch and analyse the person who took up the the position. If they are doing a great job, you will have taken the right decision. If they start making mistakes and be criticised, you can step up and take their place as a leader. This can have two outcomes. Either you are worse than the previous leader, then you will have an even worse reputation than him. Contrarily, you could do a better job than him, which has a high probability if your predecessor was really bad, and your reputation will be even better than it would have been without a bad predecessor.

In conclusion, an appropriate knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses is important in your decision to be leader or a follower. Being a leader or a follower is not a permanent state. In a hierarchical structure you will probably simultaneously be a leader to some and a follower to others. Choosing the right role to play in a specific situation is evidence of deep self-knowledge and self-awareness.

It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.
Nelson Mandela
Be Brave, No Matter the Outcome

May 3rd, 2023

Be brave and act; even if you fail

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston S. Churchill

In the past, you certainly have been in the position of wanting to do something but being too afraid to confront it. We probably all have been in the same position. What goes through your mind in that specific moment? Probably every possible result and its consequences. Fear and doubt then start to enter our thoughts, even though we have not even come close to acting out our plan. What next? Fear and doubt become stronger and find a way to infiltrate every thought. Finally, exaggerated scenarios lead us to mental paralysis. We decide not to take on the endeavour. We decide not to be brave.

Root of fear and doubt

Have you ever thought about where the fear of failure and the doubt of success come from? If you were alone on this planet and you would have to finish a task to achieve a goal, wouldn’t that be easy? If you achieve it, perfect; if you do not achieve it, good… you will try again later. You will try as many times as it takes until you finish the task.

Now imagine you are not alone on this planet. Another person is right beside you in this small community of two people. Like in the first scenario, you would have to finish a task to achieve a goal. You achieved it? Perfect. You did not achieve it? Good… you will try again later. The other person comforts you with nice phrases like, “It was a good first try. You will do it next time.” You are brave enough to try it one more time and fail again. Now the other person might still be supportive but if you try it many times and you keep on failing the support fill slowly vanish. Support will turn into shame and you will think twice before attempting to be brave again in the future.

the fear of other people’s opinions

The fear of other peoples opinions is a strong driving force in your decision to be brave or not. You certainly would try to accomplish many more things if it wasn’t for the fear of others seeing your potential failure. Changing your mindset is crucial. Even though we celebrate famous successful people who kept trying and eventually succeeded, we tend to criticise “normal” people who have the same zeal. Why is that?

It is because of envy. We envy people in our close environment who try to succeed and are brave enough to attempt something that we are too afraid of attempting. Additionally, envy can be closer than we think. Our best friends, our brothers, our sisters.

fear of showing our insecurities

When you arrive at a point in your live when the circumstances demand from you to be brave, you find yourself in a vulnerable position. It feels like standing naked in front of an audience. Your shortcomings will be visible and that scares you. Everybody will see what you can and cannot do. Therefore, you concentrate less on showing the world what you can do than hiding what you cannot do. Why aren’t you concentrating more on showing the world your skills? You should be more enthusiastic of showing your strengths than be afraid of showing your weaknesses and insecurities. Fear of appearing weak or inadequate is an insecurity in itself.

One personal story: I was afraid of showing my insecurities in a relationship. For that reason I ended the relationship when it started getting serious out of fear. I created excused to terminate the relationship and most of those excuses did not include my insecurities. Maybe I was not aware of them at that time. When life gave me the opportunity to be brave I chose to be a coward. Instead of being enthusiastic of showing my qualities as a romantic partner, I was afraid of showing my weaknesses and insecurities. I hope I learned and I am not going to repeat the same mistake in the future.

being brave creates opportunities

Oftentimes, when an opportunity arises, you focus on your inadequacies, your shortcomings. Instead of seeing your shortcomings as liabilities, you should perceive them as opportunities of improvement. What you currently cannot do, you can learn in the future. In every new environment there is something that you can learn, something that will enhance your knowledge and expertise. You will not grow as a person if you are not brave enough to grow. You cannot learn how to hunt a lion if you are not brave enough to go to the jungle and try to hunt your first lion. I am not telling you to go hunt a lion, that would probably end deadly; I am telling you to go hunt opportunities, hunt new experiences, hunt the unknown and hunt whatever frightens you.

conclusion? be brave

There is only one conclusion: to be brave. Therefore, write down what you are most afraid of. Whatever terrifies you in your everyday life. Something that you want to do but think that you probably do not have the necessary tools to accomplish. Afterwards, do exactly what you have written down. Create a plan, think about your approach and be brave. The process of attempting, itself, will improve your skills and expertise.

anastasioskalaitzis

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The Good in People

April 17th, 2023

Most people are out there to help and not to hurt you

Have you ever had the feeling that people are out there to get you? To hurt you in some kind of way? That most people we encounter are selfish and they would always put themselves first and help you as little as possible? I have had this feeling many times in my life. I guess it has something to do with my upbringing. For my father, my siblings and I were always supposed to be better, more intelligent and stronger than everyone else. This created a competitive mindset that is also linked to many insecurities. Being the best makes you want to prove yourself all the time. You cannot see the good in others, especially when they are performing at a high level. You think they will judge you, try to perform better than you to hurt your status, personality or how other people see and perceive you.

most people want to help

If we ask a hundred people, most of them will say that they always try to help their fellow human beings. On the other side, if we ask them if they believe that others also try to help their fellow human beings a big percentage would say “no”. Generally, humans see themselves as altruistic, selfless, but others as selfish. I guess we could accept seeing oneself in a better light than others as a normal character trait. Nevertheless, this notion can reach dangerous levels if it turns into paranoia. One step to the right direction is communication.

Communication unveils the mystery

The prerequisite for seeing the good in other people is communication. When you walk around with the thought that others want to harm you, you automatically keep a safe distance between yourself and them. The only thing that can counter that is communication. Going up to people will reveal their true character and make you see that they are not hiding some conspiracy to bring you down.

In the academic and professional sphere, going up to people will help you improve your skills and expand your knowledge. Seeing the good in people will take the feeling of danger away. “He knows more than I do? Then I need to have a conversation with him and learn the things that he knows.” This is the only thought that should cross your mind, because it is productive and it will help you improve in life. This is something that I have not done in the past. I started retreating more and more into myself. “I will learn those things by myself and prove that I am better.” This process only strengthened my anxiety and the pressure I put on myself. I should have just found a way to communicate and start a conversation with him on the topic that I wanted to know more about.

conclusion

Putting your own ego away and realizing that most people live their lives trying to help others whenever they can will help you improve in every field. Communication is one important aspect of that. Go up to people in good faith and exchange knowledge and wisdom.

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anastasioskalaitzis
Change

December 15th, 2022

Why is change perceived as negative when it is suggested by someone else?

Remember that to change course or accept correction leaves you just as free as you were. The action is your own; driven by your own impulse and judgement, indeed your own intelligence.
markus aurelius, Meditations

We all probably have heard the phrase, “Never change for anyone” a couple of times in our lives. But why is that so? Why shouldn’t we change for other people? Should we never change for other people or only in certain occasions and for certain people?

an INTRINSICALLY authentic self

“Never change for anyone”, implies that we have an authentic self, that should stay authentic and not be altered by outer forces and influences. How was this authentic self created?

This authentic self is not as “authentic” as we think it is. From the day we are born, we are influenced and shaped in ways we cannot consciously remember. Our close environment, meaning, our parents, our grandparents, and our siblings – the people we spend most of our early time with – subconsciously shaped our personality and interests not only short but also long term. A different environment would have created a different human being. Even the same environment with the same people but in a different time would have created a different human being.

We are not as authentic as we think we are, so changing should not be something we should not do; even if it happens due to the criticism of someone else. Criticism is something I have talked about in an earlier blogpost. There should be certain criteria that we should take into consideration when evaluating the proposition for change.

Criteria for change

First of all we should evaluate the person proposing the change. What is our relationship with them? How long do we know them? Do they have our own good in mind when proposing change, or do they have their own interest in mind because they would benefit from the change?

Oftentimes, it is difficult to evaluate the other person and our relationship with them because we cannot enter their minds. We cannot be entirely sure of what the person is thinking and what its intentions are. That makes it difficult for us to decide whether or not to take the proposition seriously. Especially if we talk about a change in personality or a specific personality trait. When somebody tells us they do not like an aspect of our personality or behavior we tend to react negatively because we perceive it as an attack on our “authentic” self. Our personality is the essence of our being. Therefore, when such a proposition occurs we REALLY should spend time thinking about our relationship and the extent of the interdependence we have with this person.

Relatives

Parents, siblings, and relatives of any kind seem to be people we more often than not can trust to have our own good in mind when proposing a change. Nevertheless, we cannot just blindly follow their advice without evaluating the change and its consequences. Because we do not know the emotional state they were in when they suggested the change. At this time, they may not even believe in it anymore. Therefore their judgement should be assessed. Do they even have success in what they are proposing? Should one take relationship advice from a relative that does not have a long and successful relationship? Should one take health and fitness advice from a relative who does not look healthy him-/herself or take advice on happiness and satisfaction in life from a person who does not look happy and satisfied him-/herself?

The advice may be productive and eventually have positive consequences. Nonetheless, it needs to be thoroughly analyzed before being implemented. Under those circumstances, it should not as much matter where the advice is coming from, but instead the advice for change itself should be evaluated.

Change does not equal losing freedom

Markus Aurelius says it best, “Remember that to change course or accept correction leaves you just as free as you were. The action is your own; driven by your own impulse and judgement, indeed your own intelligence.”

Many times, when the proposition or the thought for change comes from our own selves, we are proud of having figured out something that will improve our lives. When someone else gives us advice we tend to react negatively out of arrogance as well as pride.

A proposition and the action are two different things, though, because somebody making a proposition for change does not immediately mean that we are going or we should act on it. The action itself happens because we have decided to implement the suggested measures. It is purely our decision to act. Therefore, as already mentioned, merely the advice itself should be analyzed no matter where it comes from. We should always act as reasonable human beings and not let our inferior emotions be the masters of our mind.

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat

anastasioskalaitzis

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Maintenance

November 27th, 2022

Building is hard – Maintenance is back-breaking

A building in Paris

Imagine being on the beach and building a sand castle. You are spending hours focusing on every little detail of your construction and then finally it is finished. You are in front of your creation; admiring your work, doubting if it was you who built it. During your admiration, a bird flies by and drops a rock on the left side of the castle. You start cursing at the damn bird and running to the site to see the extent of the damage. You get some sand, mix it with water and repair the destruction. Slowly you start realizing that building and maintenance are two different things.

While doing that, a kid walks by and thinks it is funny to poke at the castle with a stick it found somewhere on the beach. You cannot go there immediately because you are still repairing the previous vandalization. You are angrily screaming at the kid – it should take its stick and go find its mum. After you are finished at the first construction site you go to the next one. Luckily you can only find a couple of small holes that are easy to fix.

If you want to keep this sandcastle alive for a long time, that is going to be your job; keeping a close eye on it every day and preserving what is in your power to preserve.

Building and maintaining Relationships

The same principle applies to relationships. Relationships start with a common interest; similar personalities finding each other and having great chemistry at the beginning. It is easy to find somebody with whom we can spend many hours with, without having a problem, because we have not become acquainted with all their characteristics yet. This is the phase of building the sandcastle.

When a type of relationship has been established, problems will start to arise. Misunderstandings, due to the still unknown to us other. Different people have different habits, manners, and patterns. Those habits, manners, and patterns may not align with the aesthetic compass of the person we started a relationship with, may it be friendly or romantically. This will lead to friction of the two aesthetic compasses and eventually to a battle. The battle of the aesthetic compasses will leave behind damages, just like the ones that needed fixing on the sandcastle.

Maintenance of the Relationship

If we judge the relationship worthy of our efforts, we will try to find a way to maintain it. The maintenance, of course, needs both parties to be equally determined, otherwise, it will most probably ultimately fall apart. While the kid was poking the sandcastle with the stick, you could have asked it to fix the damage together instead of doing it alone. It could result in the kid starting to appreciate the sandcastle and take care of it itself. Making all parties part of the problem solving process makes maintenance easier and long-lived.

Many people feel that their relationships are secure and will last for a long time without adequate maintenance. Because of that, they start neglecting them, not giving them enough attention. That is a big mistake and leads to the slow but sure demise of the relationship. Starting, or building, a relationship is relatively easy – maintaining it is hard.

Maintaining in general life

Maintaining a sort of status is necessary in every aspect of life. Career, health, fitness, we already talked about relationships.

All of those fields need our day to day attention, otherwise their development and success will stagnate or they will stop existing if we neglect them entirely.

Setbacks will most probably occur and that is fine. Nothing works perfectly for the entirety of its existence. That is why we should be attentive and ready to take care of those setbacks.

In fitness, an accident can be a dramatic setback. There are many examples of professional athletes who got injured and stayed out of games for the whole season. Some injuries can be fixed more easily and the athlete stays out for just some weeks. Nevertheless, even at the smallest discomfort in a body part they stop what they are doing, in football they ask the coach for a substitution, and they immediately do scans to find out what the cause for the discomfort is.

Those scans are lifesaving. If a footballer ignores his or her physical discomfort, they will not go and let their body be scanned to find out the cause of the injury. In the long run the injury will be worse than it would have been if the problem had been dealt with earlier.

Reaction to Discomforts – Essential Step to Maintenance

That is how we should react to all discomforts in life before it is too late for the problem to be solved and a damaged to be repaired. Maintenance means non-procrastination, non-accumulation of problems. What needs fixing should be fixed immediately. Some problems cannot be fixed immediately. Nevertheless, the recognition and analysis of the problem is something that can be done right at the first sign of discomfort.

If you build the sandcastle and let people walk by and vandalize and damage it, like the little boy with the stick, and you think, “Well I will just fix it later”… you will arrive at a point, later, when you will not be able to maintain the sandcastle. It will be destroyed entirely and you will need to build it up from the start. On the other hand, if through daily maintenance you fix what needs to be fixed immediately, you will have that beautiful sandcastle every day to admire and be proud of. If that is not the goal then why build it at all?

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat

anastasioskalaitzis

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Limitless Potential

November 20th, 2022

Do not put limits on your potential for success

Before I started creating this Blog some – not so motivational – questions crossed my mind. “Why should people read my blog? There are so many writers out there, why should people be interested in what I have to say?” Those are legitimate questions and the process of thinking about and answering them is a helpful process.

Right before any big project doubts cross our minds. We start comparing ourselves to other people doing our craft, writers in my case. This process oftentimes demoralizes us. There have been great people doing what we are trying to do, very successfully. Should kids stop dreaming of being great, or the best footballers one day just because of the existence of Messi and Ronaldo? Messi and Ronaldo reached their status even though before them great players created magic with the ball. They were probably inspired by them, otherwise they would have never reached the level they have reached and they have not even gotten to the end of their careers yet. Both have the opportunity of becoming even greater by winning the coming World Cup. But enough of football and back to the actual topic of the blogpost.

doubt as a mechanism of stagnation

Doubt is not creative but destructive. It does not achieve anything more than failure or making the activity unpleasant.

Every time we doubt ourselves to any degree we are slowing down the process of improvement. Doubt is a waste of time that we could be using concentrating on improving and learning. Doubt, at the end of the day, is born by the feeling of not being good enough, not having the necessary skills to successfully execute the project.

Doubt is not creative but destructive. It does not achieve anything more than failure or making the activity unpleasant. That is why thorough examination and research is important before making the decision to spend time on a serious project. Starting with doubt means not being convinced of the project’s potential. Then why start at all?

Accumulated knowledge and wisdom

Accumulated knowledge and wisdom bring progress. Our society is a product of all previous societies. Our generation is a product of all previous generations. We create the future by using the tools and findings of previous generations and some of the prior knowledge and wisdom from the past do not apply to the time we are living in.

Great writers of our generation are the product of previous writers. They have read the literature and theory that helped them become great writers. Nobody is self-made. The possibility for greatness and success is out there. If we find it or not depends on our willingness to learn, adapt and create.

If the existence of great writers in the past makes our desire to be great writers useless then we would have never had great writers after the first great writers some thousands of years ago.

The opposite is true. Great writers of the past created great writers in the present, and great writers of the present will create great writers in the future. This applies to all occupations. There would have been no Plato without Socrates – there would have been no Aristoteles without Plato and Socrates, and there would have been no Alexander the Great without Aristoteles, Plato and Socrates… at least not as great as he truly was.

present over past

Our current generation has the advantage over previous generations. We have more sources and resources to use for our occupations and sciences. Economists in the seventeenth century did not have a John Stuart Mill, a Karl Marx, a Vilfredo Pareto or a John Maynard Keynes. Philosophers of the fifteenth century did not have a Voltaire, a Descartes, a Rousseau or a Nietzsche. We have all of them, but we do not have the big thinkers of the future. That is why coming generations will have an advantage over us, just as we have an advantage over previous generations.

Different times, different problems, different solutions

Furthermore, our generation has to go through different struggles and problems then all the previous generations. The modern time is a time of dynamic changes and people are oftentimes overwhelmed by those changes. As a writer I have to deal with different issues and aspects of the human nature and mind.

Especially the youth carries a heavy burden. Great writers, mainly in fiction writing, have the obligation to deal with contemporary issues, problems, and questions. Past thinkers, idealists and writers will give present thinkers, idealists and writers the theoretical and conceptual basis to help the current generation go through their struggles. In addition, they will add to the theories and concepts of the past to help future generations go through their struggles. We cannot solve their problems, because solving a problem is only possible while being present when this given problem exists. The least we can do, though, is thinking about future generations and not giving them problems that we could have prevented.

conclusion

There is always potential for success and greatness. Past success and greatness does not mean that there is no room for present success and greatness. That applies to all fields, sciences and occupations. Different times bring with them different and new types of problems. Those problems can only be solved by contemporary thinkers and experts.

The potential for success and greatness is even higher in modern times due to so many centuries of previous thinkers that we can study and analyze. Technology makes it easy for us to acquire all knowledge that we need for our projects. We should use this opportunity and create something beautiful.

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat

anastasioskalaitzis
Life’s Meaning

November 10th, 2022

Does life carry a meaning? Does it even matter?

What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the disbarring men, that it did not really matter what we expected form life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
viktor e. frankl, Man’s search for meaning

This is a long quote, but it is important for me to present to the reader this brilliant passage, written by Viktor E. Frankl in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning”. I recommend every man – and of course woman, but particularly man – to read this book.

As a Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl witnessed the brutalities of the Nazi regime in the Second World War and spent time in the concentration camp in Auschwitz. His psychological insides are based on his observations of the inmates, their life, their experiences, their attitudes towards their fate as victims of the most brutal war humanity has ever witnessed. How can you continue living your life like this, when a group of people sees you as inferior to them and uses you only for work, just like humanity has used animals throughout all of history? What gives your life the necessary amount of meaning to not just commit suicide?

what is meaning and its purpose?

Meaning could be defined as the things, people or ideas that we live for. “Meaning” are the reasons we live and create for. The reasons that motivate us to leave our bed every morning, even if we do not really feel like it. Meaning can be an idea, like God or a materialistic thing like a car, or a book collection or it can be a person like someone’s family, wife, husband, son or daughter or a romantic relationship. Our “meaning” changes throughout our lifetime. What we consider important today will probably be replaced in some years by something else. Meaning, like all other things in life, is temporary. Even something like our belief in God can change. I live through times when I stopped believing and times I started believing again. In the moments of faith I just could not imagine a future without faith… but it came. In moments of doubt, I could not imagine a return to faith and yet here I am. Meaning changes, and that is something that we should be conscious about in order to not just go through life searching for some everlasting meaning that will keep us content until we die.

the development of meaning

Meaning Outside of the Individual

It seems like a change occurred in the minds of people throughout history. In earlier centuries, humans seemed to find meaning outside of the individual, outside of themselves. Firstly, people needed to work every day because their life depended on it. Nowadays, especially in more industrialized countries, we do not witness the fight for everyday survival like people did a hundred, two and more hundred years ago, since the development of the first human communities. Survival makes one put meaning into the community, something outside of the individual, because without the community one could not survive. The importance of family also falls into this category, because the roots of the institution begin with the establishment of the first communities. One can find meaning in the maintenance of a family and the survival of the partner and the children; things outside of the individual.

Meaning, in older times, could also be found in belief and religion. The meaning of life itself is the entrance into paradise and, hopefully, not hell. God himself is an idea, an entity who one can rely on in the most difficult of times. An idea outside of the individual, outside of oneself.

Some more ideas that were important to people, in the past more than in the present, are national identity, tradition and culture, ethnicity and race. Those ideas seem to go through a restoration in some European countries due to the cultural war that is taking place for the last decade, especially in the west. This cultural war does not seem to be ending any time soon. The return to nationalist ideologies will probably become stronger in the decade to come. Those nationalist ideas again, are something outside of the individual, outside of one’s self. Even though one is defining himself by his supposed heritage and genetic make up that is in himself, those ideas are represented in the outer world. In the music, the art, the architecture, the language, the literature, the physiognomy of the people that belong to the same ethnicity. Even religion and God can be put into this category. Furthermore, family can be put into this category because of the preservation of the nation but also the preservation of one’s name. The parents, more precisely the father, want to give their last name to a son who will then continue the name’s history. Those were motivations outside of the individual.

The ways in which human beings of older generations found meaning in things outside of the individual, outside of themselves is very visible here. How does that look like now – in our modern, capitalist, commercialized societies?

Meaning Inside of the Individual

In our modern, materialist, capitalist, commercialized societies institutions like community, family, social hierarchy, faith and religion, God himself, marriage and birth have all lost their earlier high value.

The devaluation of those institutions has its routs in the fight for freedom of marginalized social groups that were discriminated and disadvantaged by those same institutions. Patriarchy and social hierarchy lost its value when women, and some men, started fighting for women’s rights. With the rise of big corporations after the capitalist revolution women were needed as workers for the system and they were of big advantage for states because more workers means more taxes. Self-actualization, in form of a successful career, is now more important for many women than finding their meaning outside of their selves by creating and serving a family and their husband. Meaning inside of the individual with the help of personal achievements and materialistic purchases. Achievements not to please someone else, but primarily one’s self.

The devaluation of God and Religion, as an institution that has power over our actions also came in the name of personal, individual freedom. “I will not let some God, whose existence is not even proven, dictate how I should live my life.” Many people in our time lose their faith in God. The pseudo-intellectual narcissism and arrogance of our time make it easy for an individual to give up their self-control and humbleness. Becoming a victim to the pleasures of the flesh is seen as a revolution against the tyranny of God. I have been a victim of that myself, until I realized that I was acting just like the biggest revolutionary in the history of the universe, Satan himself. For an atheist all those things will sound absurd. Just skip this part and take with you the main argument of the paragraph, namely, that meaning has left the world outside of one’s self and entered the sphere of the individual in our modern times.

The church has mistreated many marginalized groups, especially women and homosexual people. The church has lost much of its power when the governance of a nation went from the church to the state. The separation of church and state in most countries of the west in the name of individual freedom has opened opportunities of self-actualization to marginalized groups. Those groups will live out their individual freedoms as excessively as they can. This is the an understandable reaction to the hundreds of years of persecution and discrimination.

The fall of those institutions in the name of individual freedom and self-actualization has made the search for meaning more difficult for human beings. We are limited in our capabilities which means that we will fail often. If we base the meaning of our lives on personal success and self-actualization we will spend a lot of time trying to acquire something that will give us this meaning. More often than not, we will fail. That is why balance is important.

the golden mean

The golden mean, or the golden middle way, is the balance between meaning outside and meaning inside of the individual. Our personal freedoms and self-actualization are important drivers for a happy life. Nevertheless, at the end of the day if we only think about our individual happiness and success and strive everyday to achieve this happiness and success we will run into a thick wall of Nihilism because at the end of the day those are the things that have the least meaning. Happiness is temporary. Not being happy is the goal, but being content; having no regrets when we go to bed in the evening. Finding a meaning of life that exists outside of ourselves, will make us feel content with life. Community, family, friendship, religion, God, culture, tradition. Those institutions will stay with us forever. The things and people that they consist of will probably change throughout the course of our lives but we can refill them. There is never a lack of people worthy of being part of our community, family and circle of friends.

Conclusion

Many times conclusions are not concluding anything, especially when writing about an ambiguous topic like the meaning of life. I will have to conclude with one sentence of Viktor E. Frankl’s quote.

We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life {…} Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

Maybe there is no meaning in life. Maybe the creation of the universe, and therefore the creation of human beings, was a big coincidence. We are thrown into this world and we will leave this world after some (hopefully many) decades. Or maybe life has a meaning. Somebody created the universe and human beings with a specific purpose in mind. This purpose we will probably never get to discover during our lifetime on this planet. We can philosophize about the meaning of life until we grow long white beards (males) and long white hair (females). We will not come to a conclusion. The meaning of life is what everybody defines individually. At the end of the day, coming back to Viktor E. Frankl, we have to ask ourselves what we can and cannot control in life. Then take what we can control and start creating the best out of it.

If we still try to define a meaning for our lives, let it be something higher than the mere individual. We, ourselves, are not the pinnacle of creation. Only in combination with something outside of the individual can meaning have value. What are we doing this for?

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat

anastasioskalaitzis