From my early childhood until my late teenage years I had been introverted and shy. The presence of other people always bothered me to a certain degree. I did not even have to be in the centre of attention. Even just waking outside made me uncomfortable and watch every step that I took. The reason for that? The opinion of others.
I did not live my life from my own perspective, but from the perspective of the people around me. What are they thinking? Do I look weird? Those were some of the questions I asked myself for the majority of my life. Until I realised that people barely think about me or spend time judging me. Even when they judged me in a specific situation and moment, they forgot about it some seconds later and spent their day doing something else. It sounds kind of self centred and narcissistic to think that almost everybody seeing you will give you so much of their attention.
Ask yourself… “How much time do I spend every day thinking about other people? About the embarrassing things they have done and they clothes they have worn? About their stupid haircut and the ugly tattoo?” You will realise that the time spent is almost zero. That is exactly how much time people spend thinking about you.
People barely think about you. Everybody is so busy with their own work, problems, daily responsibilities, family, and friends that they do not really have the time to think about some supposedly shameful thing that you have done. Do not stress over the opinions of others because they are mostly just your own insecurities that you cannot deal with.
All weeks look different. You cannot have two identical weeks. Unexpected things that disturb your schedules and routines always happen. That is why you need to have a basis of habits that you complete a specific number of times every week.
Basis of Habits
Working out is one of the basic habits I want to complete at least five times a day. This is the ideal number, of course, and oftentimes I only finish two or three work outs every day. Setting the bar high, allows me to fall short a couple of times without losing much of my momentum.
The ideal week consists of writing at least one hour every day. The writing does not have to be conclusive. Writing down random thoughts and emotions helps me think of new ideas to write about. Contrary to working out, writing is a habit that I really do for at least one hour every day.
The ideal week has some form of quality time. Quality time helps distract your thoughts from the important things and make you relax. Furthermore, I try to stay in touch with the important people in my life. That means, quality time also consists of calling friends and family to ask them how they are doing.
The ideal week does exist. Can we achieve it every week? Probably not. Nevertheless, the higher we set the bar the more we will achieve.
Some days, I cannot get myself out of bed to do anything. No matter how hard I try, how important a task is, and how close the deadline is. Sitting around doing nothing only makes me less motivated to be productive.
At one time in my life I realised that I get motivated visually. I need to imagine something that fits into my aesthetic lens and that helps me finish the work that needs to be finished. With the help of technology – laptops, tablets, smartphones – it is easy to find pictures/videos that will get me in the mood to work for exactly those things that I am watching. I watch pictures/videos that show me aspects of a life that I want to live. My mindset adjusts to the feelings that are created by the visual stimulation.
Therefore, it is very important to figure out the senses that motivate you the most. Not everyone gets visually motivated like me. Figuring that out can be life changing.
There will be days when not even the sensual stimulation will help motivate you. On those days you either decide to be unproductive or stand up and do what needs to be done. It is tough, but it is not the end of the world to just be unproductive for one day.
As many people in human history have already said, “it is the little things that bring the biggest amount of joy in life”. For me it is my coffee breaks in the morning and in the afternoon.
I drink two cups of coffee daily. One in the morning, after I have done an hour of studying. The other in the afternoon, after the bigger amount of work. During this coffee break, I sit down on my comfortable armchair and read the bible. The bible has been a constancy in my life for a year now. It is like a harbour that I come back to. No matter what happens in life I can always rely on this one comforting moment on my armchair, the cup of coffee besides me on the table, and the bible in my hand. Finding constant habits like this, gives me long term hope and calmness. I can trust that this moment will last for decades to come. It gives me joy and a sense of belonging.
In modern society, it seems like children and teenagers are growing up much faster. They act like grown men and women at a much younger age. It may be because of technology and social media. They see things at a young age that children in the past did not even get to see in their whole lifetime.
If I could change one thing about modern society, I would bring back the playful innocence and simplicity, that is getting rarer and rarer; in children, teenagers but also in adults.
Steps to identify your insecurities, deal with and get rid of them
Insecurities; everyone has one… or many. There is not one human being on this planet who is not insecure about some aspect of themselves. This can be a physical insecurity or an insecurity of some character trait. Insecurities are so deeply rooted in our subconscious that makes it hard for us to find their root – the moment they were created. Usually it is a situation in which we felt a sense of shame or abandonment. Going back in time and finding the precise situation and everything that was involved with it – people, colours, scents – is tough. Nevertheless, it is not impossible. There are many things that can trigger an insecurity. Oftentimes, we feel a certain emotional discomfort and we do not even know why. Those are the certain stimulations/stimulants that were present when the insecurity emerged. Our subconscious “remembers” everything that was present in the moment of discomfort and even when we do not find ourselves in one of those moments in the present time, our subconscious still senses those stimulants and awakens the feelings we felt in the past. This proves the deepness of our insecurities’ roots.
Identifying your insecurities
The first step of the road is identifying your insecurities. You cannot heal something that you do not know exists. What makes you feel uncomfortable? What are personal characteristics and traits that you think others will ridicule or make fun of? Many times, insecurities do not bother us when we are alone or with people that we hold dear. Discomfort and its expressions become visible in the presence of strangers or a bigger group of people. Knowing that, we can use those situations as tests to figure out what really makes us uncomfortable.
Honesty and Transparency unveil your Insecurities
Honesty and transparency are fundamental in your journey of discovering and healing your insecurities. Are you honest with yourself? Are you sure about that?
Being honest with yourself can be hard. Many times, we hide behind fake pride and a sense of superiority to hide our true feelings and thoughts about ourselves. “Look at those guys doing this or that. Who do they think they are?” Thoughts like those have entered my mind plenty of times. Seeing people do things that I would not be able to do due to my shyness. This is one way one way to identify an insecurity. Whenever you are reacting negatively towards people being themselves and enjoying the moment, it could just be you being frustrated that you are not capable to live happily in the present moment like they do. Why criticise someone else when you are content and happy in your specific situation?
People and Experiences
Additionally, another way to identify an insecurity is by observing your behaviour in the presence of certain people. Behaving a certain way led to a specific reaction from people close to you. A negative reaction to your self-expression created a subconscious insecurity or blockade. Eventually, you took the suppression of this sort of self-expression to other spaces and places of your everyday life. The mental barricade expanded. “If they shame me for this form of self-expression here, then they will probably shame me for that same form of self-expression there.”
Therefore, you can connect a certain insecurity to a specific person that made you feel ashamed at a young age, when your subconscious was still in development. Observe yourself. How do you behave in the presence of certain people? Are you behaving differently when they are around as opposed to their absence? Why? Is there an experience of the past in the presence of that person that made you feel negatively? Connect the dots – experiences, feelings, people. This information is of importance in the next next steps.
Heal your insecurities
The next step is tricky. It takes courage and purposeful decision making. Now that you have identified your insecurities, you need to put yourself out there and face them. What really bothers us when it comes to our insecurities are their consequences. People can see that we do not feel comfortable in a situation because of how the insecurity is expressing itself: excessive sweating, stutters, shaking hands or eyebrows. We do not want people to see those outbursts of anxiety, nervousness and discomfort, therefore we try to avoid situations that will bring forth those reactions. For that reason, for many years I avoided holding presentations or raise my hand in school. Those reactions still occur because they are deeply rooted in my nervous system. Nevertheless, in order to change that, I have to put myself in a position that will produce those reactions as often as possible.
Get Comfortable in Discomfort
Discomfort is something we have to get comfortable living in. When you realise and implement that, it will create the most beautiful and rewarding feeling. Put yourself in situations of discomfort as often as possible. Yes, people will see the sweating, the stuttering, and the awkwardness. Yes, some people will judge you. Nevertheless, you need to learn to live with those things if you want to improve your life and create something great. For the most part, the most uncomfortable situations are the ones that help us grow the most. By avoiding them, we are hindering our own evolution, our own progress. Embrace your reactions to discomfort, embrace your awkwardness, become one with it. Be brave and stand your ground.
Be Brave and Just Do It; No Matter the Outcome
In the past, I delayed events because of my social anxiety. Dates, presentations, job interviews and so on. The reason for that was my fear of the outcome. “What if the presentation went badly? I would embarrass myself in front of everyone. The girl will probably not even like me and find me weird or even creepy. I do not have the credentials for this job, the interview is just a waist of time.” My insecurities were controlling my thoughts and actions.
By thinking like that I could not see one very important thing: my potential. It took many years for me to believe in my potential and put myself out there for people to see. I had to create the right mindset and the first step was to just be brave and do what need to be done, no matter the outcome. The outcome is not important. At the end of the day, we will do everything in our power for a good result. What is not acceptable is no result at all. A bad outcome is unquestionably more beneficial than avoiding the event entirely. What will you learn by avoiding the event? Nothing.
Ultimately, if you want progress and success in life, you need to identify and heal your insecurities. Therefore, identifying is the easier part. What will be tough is putting yourself out there for people to see your naked soul. You need to change your mindset. Say to yourself, “I will just do it, no matter the outcome. I will be brave enough to face my insecurities and their expressions.” Sooner or later you will be put into an uncomfortable position. Therefore, it is more valuable to put yourself there first so you have the power to control it and grow.
Nowadays, in this multicultural world that we are living in, spirituality takes on many different expressions. It is based on many different teachings and religions from all over the world. I follow the word of Christ.
Spirituality plays an important role in my life. For me, it means keeping the spirit and the mind clean from outer influence, good or bad. Of course I am going to be sad when something bad happens and happy when something good happens. Nevertheless, the mind should always come back to a state of peace and relaxation. Excessive emotions can lead to bad decisions.
In my life, there are two spiritual practices that I follow and that help me balance my mental, spiritual, and emotional state. Praying/Reading the bible and working out.
Every morning when I drink my coffee I pray and read the bible. This is the basis of my day. Reminding myself that there are bigger things than what happens to me daily. This practice is something I can come back to whenever I feel like my emotions are taking control over me. It helps me ground myself. It is a constant in my life that I will continue doing until I am 90 years old.
Working out is the second practice that helps me develop and control my spirit and mind. Working out brings a human being to its limits. It needs active movement to accomplish. The spirit and the mind are oftentimes lazy. Every time we push ourselves to work out, we should be proud because we are one of the minority that accomplished that. Working out, apart from being physically advantages, can also help us deal with emotions. There are many studies that show that working out increases hormones that are important for the emotional well-being. Furthermore, exercising positively affects our health. It leads to a clear mind because it does not have to deal with an unhealthy body and the anxiety that comes with it.
Spirituality does not need a lot to be successful. The simpler it is, the better.
Politically abusing the experiences of refugees will only worsen the crisis
This statement was uploaded on Instagram by Angelina Jolie, days after the horrific death of 78 refugees outside of Greece. As many times in the past, political parties will use this incident to push their agendas and personal ideologies. The political abuse of refugees’ tragic experiences will further polarise political discourse.
No refugee risks his life unfoundedly
Many people criticise refugees for taking dangerous trips to reach a save country. Especially when they are also putting their kids in danger. This argument is also being used by politicians to politically abuse refugees and their experiences. Those people need to understand that no refugee leaves his or her country by free will. Wars, economic crises, persecution, and political instability are forcing people to leave their home country. Majority of those fleeing would gladly stay at home knowing that things will change in the near future. Unfortunately, future prospects do not look good, that is why they decide to leave behind all of their belongings, pay their last money for transportation and find a save place to live.
The Root of the Problem
We should ask ourselves why so many people from specific countries leave. Certainly, life conditions are not only bad in those countries, but unbearable. Ask yourself, “What would it take for me to leave my comfortable life in my country and go live somewhere else?” When one lives in a stable country, it is easier to find another country to live in after having finished the bureaucratic procedures. Furthermore, we need to understand that it is easier to move out of some places. Ukrainian refugees can more easily arrive in Germany than Syrian refugees. Many of the refugees coming from African or Arab counties, in order to arrive in a safe democratic country, need to cross many undemocratic ones. Oftentimes, in those undemocratic countries, political and physical abuse of refugees also takes place. One example is Turkey, that threatens the European Union of letting refugees pass European borders if the EU does not give them money.
Majority of refugees that finally make it to Europe have already tried to take refuge in countries that are near to the one they fled out of. To their bad luck, they were not welcomed in those countries and faced discrimination, physical and mental abuse. For this reason, they had to flee again.
Taking those arguments into consideration, we can clearly agree that there need to be brutal reasons for somebody to take on such a life threatening and dignity degrading adventure. Therefore, one should not see refugees as the problem but recognise the real reasons that create those refugees.
Shift of perspective
A perspectival shift needs to happen in the narrative around and the treatment of refugees. Countries that take in refugees need to actively work with them. In other words, refugees have first hand experience of the societal and political structures that forced them to leave their countries. This knowledge can help politicians try to find a solution to the real problems of their escape. Sovereign democratic countries need to work together to pressure the countries the refugees are coming from. This is easier said than done. This leads to the question of whether some highly influential and powerful bodies in the west cannot pressure people in positions of power in those countries, because they have their own benefits maintaining those regimes.
Reasons for Political Abuse of Refugees
The political abuse of refugees that creates a “us-vs-them” mentality is purposefully done to divert the attention of the general public from the real issue which is the maintenance of power. Who benefits from the maintenance of those regimes and the crises that force people to move? Not only now, but who benefited in the past? Who benefited from the underdevelopment of some countries or even whole continents? Those who benefited have the highest obligation now. The obligation to help refugees but also to try and fix the root of the problem in the underdeveloped countries. Help build institutions that will make life there worth living. Because refugees would much rather live in their home country than risk their own and their children’s lives to live somewhere else.
“Who wants more power and who wants to maintain power?” The answers to those questions will guide us to a solution to the refugee crisis. Who benefits from the underdevelopment of some countries and who works with the autocratic regimes to keep them in power? Until we can answer those questions and someone comes along to solve the problems, we should treat each other with respect, understanding, and sympathy. Refugees are not our enemies. Powerful players use refugees for their own agenda.
How Extremism creates Extremism in the Example of Andrew Tate
Andrew Tate is an important figure in the contemporary cultural sphere. He is the reason for many debates on sexuality, gender, masculinity, and femininity. Some depict his views as extreme. It seems like his opinions do not fit into the modern western Zeitgeist. Many secretly agree with him, though, so that claim is not so certain. Every action has a reaction; every action creates a reaction of a similar amount of force. If Andrew Tate and what he says is extreme, something equally as extreme created him. So who or what propelled Andrew Tate and his movement into the cultural and societal discourse?
contemporary dominant societal movements
In modern times certain societal movements dominate the cultural and societal discourse. LGBT, Feminism, BLM stand in the forefront, claiming to fight systems that marginalised and suppressed certain groups. Eurocentricity, toxic masculinity, the patriarchy are just some of the concepts those groups try to fight and “crush”, as they like to say.
The Legitimacy of those Groups
Just like Andrew Tate, necessity created those nowadays extreme movements. They legitimately fought for their rights in society. Women fought for their rights to work, to vote and to marry whoever they want. Homosexual people fought for their rights to have homosexual relationships and to marry and adopt children. African Americans and all non-majority people around the world are fighting discrimination by police forces and in the workplace. The problems those and many more groups face are extreme and numerous. This blog post cannot fully cover them. Their actions, though, were legitimate and the support they have gotten is understandable.
Their Move to Extremism
Nevertheless, those groups developed theories that are far from the norm. Especially Feminism and the LGBT movement have turned into something that I call “industry of social engineering”. Left leaning ideologues created the majority of todays sociological gender and sex theories. Many of them are actively part of the feminist or LGBT movement. Those ideologues who are not part of those movements still walk around the same ideological sphere, the left wing sphere. In conclusion, those ideologues come from the same ideological source and they would call each other allies in their fight to change society to their visions.
Examples of Extremism
Those movements want to create a world in which a woman can become a man, a man can become a woman, men and women are the same and are biologically capable of doing everything with the same precision and outcome. Additionally, those movements want males with a feminine gender expression (falsely called transgender women) to compete in female sports, even though they are dominating women and breaking one record after the other. Those movements want to “crush the patriarchy”, give children lessons on queerness, transgenderism and homosexuality, with the motto, “you can be who you want to be”. They also want to teach young boys how to be men, because their fathers are not capable of doing that anymore. Furthermore, they want to sexualise children and give them permission to mutilate their bodies as young as possible if they have gender dysphoria.
Another example is the suggestion to not use the term “mother” or “pregnant woman” anymore. The reason, as they claim, is that men can also get pregnant and birth a baby. Terms like “birthing people” or “pregnant people” should be used instead. (I will not state a personal comment on that because it might get too insulting.)
Furthermore, some statements that people of those movements utter, encourage people like Andrew Tate to speak up. Some of those statements are, “the future is female”, “the future is feminist”, “the future is queer”, “smash the patriarchy”, and “we do not need men anymore, with the help of science we can give birth without men”. It does not sound like equality, it sounds more like a revolution to gain power and influence.
Fear of Being Cancelled
Rejection of those theories unveils the true extreme emotional nature of those movements. The rejection is immediately dismissed and leads to the cancelation of this person’s relevance. Of course people, especially in the liberal west, are afraid to speak their minds because they are facing aggressive backlash. This is also shown in universities where the majority of professors belong to the same left wing ideological sphere. They spread the word as apostles of those ideologies. Professors who might not agree with the theories, are afraid to speak up because they would lose their jobs. It almost seems like you cannot become a professor in the humanities or sociology anymore, if you do not fall for the propaganda and become an ally to their extremism.
the birth of andrew tate
Those extreme theories and statements birthed a man named Andrew Tate. Of course, he is not the first and only person to oppose the feminist and LGBT ideologies, but he is the best known in our time. Many label Tate’s views as outdated, misogynistic, and patriarchal. But are they really? Is everything that goes against the feminist and LGBT textbook outdated, misogynistic, and patriarchal? I do not think so, but that is a question that I will try to answer in a later blog post.
People who are shocked by Andrew Tate’s statements need to understand that he is just a reaction to the crazy sociological theories that those movements create. But because they come from the same ideological sphere, they do not say anything against those crazy theories. They know how this small minority will react and they are afraid of being cancelled and criticised as homophobic, transphobic, or sexist themselves. Nevertheless, if they do not want an extreme reaction from the opposite side of the political and ideological spectrum, they need to figure out a way to put the extreme voices in their own movements in their place.
Feelings over Facts
We are living in a time when feelings are more important than facts and evidence. Left wing ideologues regard rational and evidence based scientific procedures and common sense as concepts of a heterogeneous patriarchal system of white supremacy. Western universities push this assumption and teach it in the humanities and sociology. This leads to the de-rationalisation of thinking. Furthermore, this has led to the degeneration of culture, society and the arts. Is it a surprise then, that more and more Andrew Tates appear in the cultural discourse to fight this storm of degeneration taking place and being promoted in the west?
The liberal left is hypocritical. They never criticise their own statements of being too extreme. Representatives of the feminist movement never criticise the misandry present in their ranks. Representatives of the LGBT movement never criticise the irrational gender and sex theories created by their ideologues. Whenever somebody says something they do not like, though, they immediately defame them. They claim that this person is responsible for authorising and instigating violence against marginalised groups. Representatives of those extreme left wing movements claim moral authority in everything related to sociological theories of sex and gender. This is a big mistake and will lead to more extreme and widespread reactions than that of Andrew Tate and his supporters.
Increase of Extremism
Unfortunately, the future of this cultural war does not look good. The foreseeable rise of extremism will not stop, if the liberal irrational agenda keeps promoting those groups as prophets of a New World Order. A New World Order that is supposedly more peaceful and less autocratic. It is not. It only creates more chaos and at the end of the day, more violence. The majority of people do not agree with the left wing agenda and their sociological theories. Nevertheless, they are still pushed by the liberal intellectual regime. It seems to be very fashionable and profitable. Divide and conquer.
Extremism creates extremism. This is the only conclusion that we can all agree on. The extremism of one political and ideological sphere will create extremism on the opposing political and ideological sphere. Reading through the comments on the social medias, there is expanding support on the side of Andrew Tate. The general public sees the irrationality in the claims of extreme groups like modern feminism and the LGBT movement. As long as those movements claim moral authority over everyone else, extremism will rise and end violently. Critical and rational thinking can help avoid the rise of extremism. Feelings should not be more important than facts. Finding the right solution to all problems without trying to change the societal structures that are based on objective reality and truth. The use of empirical evidence and rationality will recapture the trust of the general public.
Left wing ideological bias dominates universities and scientific institutions. This needs to change. The promotion of productive discussion without the fear of peer pressure or mob violence is a big step forward. Professors need to work as role models, but nowadays they unfortunately work as instigators of peer pressure and mob violence.
The emerging popularity of Andrew Tate and his ideas and statements is just a sign of everything that went wrong in the cultural and societal development of the last ten years. Every extreme movement will naturally be corrected by an extreme countermovement.
This is my 12th grade German language teacher. Writing has been a passion of mine for over a decade now. When we wrote essays in school, my grades were average at best… until this teacher appeared.
His teaching method and philosophy was new to me. He did not enter the classroom with any script or guideline that most teachers follow to teach students the obligatory material. Sitting in his classroom was more like sitting under a tree in Ancient Greece, with a group of peers, listening Socrates speak. I still admire the intelligence and honesty in this man’s eyes… my teacher’s eyes of course, not Socrates’.
It seems like it was this honesty, realness, and rawness that he radiated, that made me trust him. This trust started being visible in the essays I wrote under his guidance. My grades skyrocketed and I developed a different style of and consciousness in writing.
His stoic attitude will always follow and inspire me in many other aspects outside of writing. His sophisticated way of talking, showed me the importance of gathering knowledge, questioning your knowledge, and then updating your knowledge. Your mind should never live in a static state. It should be moving, flowing, changing… it should be flexible and curious.